ahhax. theres no me. no me, in his mind. no me, in their world.
he msged me to scold me cuz of all the things i felt abt her..
i dun mean wad i say abt her de lo. i dun mean it when i say shes nt pretty, i dun even mean it when i say hes blind. i know love happens and changes all the time.. but i say those.. becuse deep inside me, im hurt...
i am a bitch, when i have to be one. cuz only by being a bitch, i can hide that sadness, substain my sorrows.. make my unhappiness go away. its a self-comforting method.
ahahx. can u guys imagine? seeing the guy u once loved so so so god damn freaking much... sheilding sum other crappy gurl? *look, i dun mean shes nt good.. im juz sad...* so hard to get over all these la..
i wanna tell him i dun mean the thigns i said... that wld have hurt them both, or strained their relation.. but hw can i? in front of him i gotta be hard and mean... cuz i dun wan him to know i've turned so weak... every night i pray..." god, can u make me stronger? i wanna live my life on without him" when will i, realli, ever, be strong?
in this lifetime, he'll nv be able to pay me back the love i gave him, or the time and feelings i commited. but even so, i dun expect him to pay back even a tiny bit. nt becuse i am trying to be noble, but becuse, i know i reali loved him deeply b4. it neutralises everything out.
even though i was seriously, deeply, madly, injured, hurted, i still wanna apologise to him..
here goes. IM SORRY. that, if i, in anyway, caused unhappiness in him and that gurl. hmm. i honestly wish them, happiness, and all the best in all they do.
haha, hey, dun misunderstand k? so wad if i dun love him anymore? i get emotional at times too wad... ahhax...
im nt realli a bitch u noe. aahhax. to all the other loving couples out there, LOVE ON =) nv give up on love.
