right the wrong bahx

It was wrong to start la.. see.. i told you we cant be toegethr de.. no there was no way to stop u from insisting being together.. u were so sweet and nice.. and everything nice.. and i was so soft hearted. hmm. its time to right the wrong.

daryl, u muz undertsand that we dun have to be toegethr for u to love me. u can love me even if we are not toegether. why muz u insist that we're together then let feeligns develope? we can do this even as firneds wad...

when i told you that being with u is miserable because i dun feel for u, ur reply was" even if u dun be with me u'll still be miserable cuz u think of him" wad the..... wad kinda argument is this... im so upset.

i duno wad to say... u wanted more time.. ok .. i shall give u slightly more time.. but pls.. if i reali cant, then i cant. i dun wnaan force anything. i dun reali have to forget him wad. i dun have to force anything.. isnt it?

u said, as long as im happi.. remmeber? besides, being toegether doesnt mean anything u noe... becuse there's no complete love...

"sports day"

ran 10 rds in the morning lol then ran 7 rounds in the afternoon. then i had body combat!!! omg.. we had kick boxing and punching lessons. so damn fun lo wahhax =x hhex. i wanna buy a punching bag to train already lahx. ahhax.

whole day dint see daryl ahah.. feels kinda weird... suppose to meet my ex de.. but i see he so insincere.. dun even wanan come my sch find me 1st so i abort the idea.. i dun wan him to got thigns then help me, no need help then ignore me.. im nt his toy.

yea. ur right.. trying damn hard to forget him. i know its had. but im trying. but lidat i reali will be happi mei? we all know very well that i feel for him still and hope that one day i can be with him.. then on the other hand im trying so hard for wad? im so confused.
wad do i relai wan? move on and get a life? or live in misery and wait for him to come back?

then i'll remind myself that i had already make a choice-- to let daryl help me forget him.. but is thi sa wrong choice? i can tell that daryl had already suffrered so much pain becuse of all my thoughts, feelings and actions towards him.. yea, i know im too cold to daryl =(

daryl.. maybe u should stop allowing urself to get hurt..protect urslef from me ba...

wad a day!!

haha.. wad a day working on chem and bio and most importantly PI!! ahah. thanks daryl.. ur so nice!!! helped me again and again without complain... ahah if not for you, i tink i got nothing to passup for my project work already.. im so touched once again...

yea.. today daryl came to my house around 3.30pm to help me with my project work.. and he taught me chemistry too... i bet he has got tons of homework to do... but ahah.. i know he loves me so he sarcrifice his time juz to help me...reali thanks...

and from time to time, he held my hands and told me not to think of my ex... i was very coforted by him... yea.. managed to keep my mind of my ex for awhile.. again.. thanks daryl...

then i showed him all the stuffs my ex gave me and our "memories box" ... wanted to let him know why it was so hard to let go of my ex.... yea... daryl... i realli wanan be happi with u and forget him... its hard work and its gonna get harder .... im not sure if u can take it..

I tried, i reali did...

I tried to forget him. i tried. i dun reply his sms.. i tried not seeing him. but my heart misses him. i wish i will get into an accident and lose my memory and forget him. but this wun happen. i kept telling myself that me and him are over and that i muz move on, but i juz cant.

daryl. i think we started off wrongly. at 1st i didnt wanan accept you cuz it's not right to do so as there's sum1 else still in my heart. but your confidence and sincerity touched me deeply so i decided to let u help me forget him. but then... i reali think it's not going to work. how can u help me when i cant forget him? i know that by saying all these i will hurt you... and it hurts me to see u suffer. but i have to let you know.. i dun wanan cheat on you.

yesh he wasnt a perfect stead... but he does protect me sumtimes.. he is my best partner in pool, in bball.. in love.. i know i gave him too much chances.. but i juz cant bear to let him go. i kept telling him that i already gave up on him, but then , i relai wish that sumday he will juz be strong and be firm about wanting to be with me.. i'm not waiting.. but that's my little secret wish...

u know all that you've done for me.... and its making me feel so stupid.. u're righ.. why the hell did i fel for him but not you? yesh you're so much better.. caring, sweet, strong, considerate... and then he, on the other hand is not as good.. but why?

i guess my brain and my heart no longer work toegether... i lost my mind over him.. and my heart is sumwhere else... this torturing feeling has made me lose concentration in wadever i do.. i feel that i've let you down...

is there anything else we can do?

shattered =/

hey daryl...

hey daryl ...

thanks for rushing to meet me even though u were so busy.. so sweet of you... glad that u even took notes down juz for me to kill time ahahx.. so nice of u.. thanks for those handcrafts too lol... nice hair cut there aha.. i dun reali know how to blog sia.. its like im writing letter more than blogging ahah.. i hope we will work out.. im trying my best to forget him laio...

o guys.. if u all wanan noe why i accepted him even though i've no feeligns for him.. is becuse he prpmised that he'll help me forget my ex... hahx... hope that we can create sum love outta nth ba.. but im trying my best to love him with all i have already..

daryl is so sweet.. he realli did alot for me already and i truely treasure him... yea...

hmm... daryl... you reali think we are possible mahx?

zoe = )